I originally started this post after watching a video done by one of the many Youtubers I follow because it got me thinking about guilt. So many people feel it for ridiculous reasons and normally the decent people that feel it feel because they don’t feel they deserve something they have or a lifestyle they lead.
Now the video was done by the amazing Bird Keeper Toby on his personal youtube channel so feel free to check it out here. His main youtube channel focuses on pretty much all things Pokemon, covering top 10 lists, theories and overall just fun discussions for people that either enjoy the games or anime.
In this particular video on his private youtube channel he talks about the feeling of guilt he has over the lifestyle and job he is able to have. He thought about people that dread going to work compared to himself that has managed to do so many things due to this Youtube channel and more importantly he is basically making a job out of discussing one of his favourite things. He talks about people that work to live even though they end up not really living so much as they are simply existing.
Of course in some cases he is right, some people work and only exist whereas others manage to find themselves in a job they are pationate about and they never feel like they have to work again. I don’t adore my job and there are tons of times I say I’d love to work with animals like the ones in Big Cat Diaries or go to somewhere like Discovery Cove in Florida where I could live in a wetsuit for a job and interact with more incredible animals but the simple answer is that I don’t. I personally made a decision to get a job that allows me to pay for amazing experiences but also stay close to family and friends and stay in the place I feel most comfortable because I don’t like change and I’m happy with my compromise.
Watching his video was almost heartbreaking because after following him for a while and therefore seeing his content improve and the work he puts into it I would hate for him to feel anything but proud of his accomplishments. He should not feel guilty for having the guts to do something he enjoys and then putting the work in to make it possible. He should not feel guilty for doing what he wanted to do while others didn’t because you cannot control other people’s actions.
Yes for every one person that loves their work there are probably tons that don’t but there are also some that are content in their choice and use a job the way I use mine. In his video Toby talks about those people that work to live except they don’t really live. Yes that can be true, during the work week I don’t have that exciting a life but it’s not terrible because having the job allows me to book holidays and do things with friends and treat myself to things I want.
I will never be the person that does what he does because I accept that I am quite happy to find a job I enjoy enough that allows me to have all the experiences I want to have which will hopefully get me through my travel bucket list. I do however admire him for being so brave. Vlogging is still a fairly new job in the grand scheme of things and can become a very difficult thing to maintain in the long run due to life getting in the way sometimes. You have to find something you truly enjoy and really put the work in to get the contacts and follows that something like this requires.
It got me thinking about guilt and how often the people that feel it the most are the ones that deserve to enjoy something the most. People feel a responsibility for the different choices other people have made. I’ve felt it myself. I have been made to feel almost guilty for having a niece despite the fact it had nothing to do with me at all! The worst part is I let this feeling in! I felt guilty if I would be unavailable for plans my friends had made because I was going to visit her (particularly right after she was born). Even now she is right at the top of my priority list which means sometimes I do miss out on other things, except now I refuse to feel guilty for it! My niece is only going to be this young for so long and this is where I feel I need to put a lot of my time to ensure I get the best relationship with her in the future. As long as I feel I am being fair to everyone involved I don’t see why I should be made to feel bad for having what someone else doesn’t.
My example is different because I didn’t get a choice in mine. Many people, however, feel guilty because of where their life is or where it is going. Do not feel bad because you beat someone to get that promotion because you worked for it and deserve just the same as anyone else. Do not feel bad for being able to afford a level of lifestyle that others can’t just make sure if you can afford to, to maybe give back. Do not feel bad for having a boyfriend/girlfriend when your friend doesn’t because relationships are hard work and it’s your life not theirs.
I sometimes feel guilty for spending time to myself and many times enjoying that more than when I’m surrounded by friends. But who does that help? Nobody it just makes the time I spent reading my book not as enjoyable as it really should be because I convince myself it is wrong. Don’t do this!
Enjoy life. Work hard, be kind and enjoy what comes out of your hard work and kindness. Don’t let others or yourself make you feel guilty or undeserving of something. Everyone chooses a different path in life and yours has simply led you to a different location for now. Of course life is unfair and many people find themselves in jobs they hate with no way out compared to others that love their job and get so much out of it but is anyone being helped by the happier person feeling guilty?