Haha ok maybe that title is a bit harsh but I really cannot be bothered with Valentines day at all.
Now let me explain, when I was a teenager and thought having a boyfriend was the be all and end all I hated Valentines Day because it was a day that reminded me that I didn’t have one and in typical me fashion my though process ended with me thinking “I’m going to be alone forever”. As a teenager this was a day that reminded me of my own insecurities and gave other people an excuse for being even more obnoxious than normal.
At 24 I still don’t particularly like this day. I have spent the last 6 (7 if you count today) Valentines Day with my boyfriend so it can’t be because of the same reasons I had when I was a teenager.
I dislike it because I really think it’s pointless. It’s not even 2 months after Christmas and now there’s another day that I am expected to buy something for my boyfriend that I guarantee you he neither needs nor wants. In fact I think it’s worse for guys! I see the same girls that get an amazing Christmas present from their boyfriend then get showered with stuff again on Valentines day – jewellery, weekends away etc etc. Now if you want to do that fine. If you want to spoil your partner then go for it but I can’t understand it myself. The thing that worries me as there are many people out there that expect to be spoiled on this day because apparently it is so important.
I understand some people might enjoy Valentines Day because it is an excuse to spend time with their partner when life is busy. I am not against people enjoying it, I am against people in relationships expecting the moon on such an unimportant day and I am against people being made to feel insignificant if they don’t have someone on this day.
I only ever got my boyfriend a Valentines Day present for our first one. I would laugh at him now if he was to get me something. In fact he bought me a stupid little Pop figure last year for my room after he saw it (no doubt looking at more for himself) and felt the need to tell me that it was going to arrive on Valentines Day or around then but it was definitely not for Valentines Day. Instead we use it as an excuse to do something no matter what day it is because like most people we are busy working and half the time can’t be bothered doing anything. So this year it’s a Wednesday which means that instead of my usual Wednesday that involves work, a gym class with my friend and then a lazy night, it will involve going out for dinner (midweek!) and then having a lazy night. Not much difference but it’ll do.
Remember when this day was simply used to tell someone you liked them as a secret admirer with a cute little card? Now there is so much emphasis on making this day bigger and better, making not only single people feel bad but make people in relationships feel an unnecessary pressure.
So after that rant what is my point in this post?
It’s more about support for those that find themselves single right now. It’s not the end of the world and this is just a day like any other. I know people that will no doubt agree to go out with people they don’t particularly like just not to be alone tonight. Why?
We have been led to believe that being single is a bad thing, especially around days like Christmas, New Year and Valentines Day. I mean if you’re single you must be unlovable and unfulfilled right? Wrong. I know people that are single that are unhappy with it but I also know people in relationships that are not happy all the time either. That’s life! So many single people get the sympathetic head tilt at the time of year when asked if they have someone, who says the person is unhappy with it? Maybe they enjoy being on their own.
You do not need a partner to enjoy life. I enjoy having a date that means me and my boyfriend should go out and do something because we are both pretty introvert and lazy once we get back from work. However if I was single I would use it as an excuse to go out with friends (at least one other person must be single right?) Or I would use it for a date night for myself, a night where I would have a bubble bath with an amazing bath bomb followed by my favourite dinner, some chocolates and a good book.
Anyone out there that feels bad today because they don’t have a date or because they have been single the past however many Valentines Days please give yourself a break. A relationship adds to your life it does not define your life and make it worth living. Keep in mind some people have to struggle through Mother’s Days or Father’s Day without parents – I find that thought much more upsetting than being alone tonight.
Enjoy your day no matter what you do. Use it as a day to show your partner how much you love them or use it as a day to love yourself! Go out with friends, have a romantic dinner or have a night in your jammies – whatever makes you happy.