Pretty sure this is one of the most common things for people to be nowadays thanks to all the information at our fingertips and the amount of choices we are all now able to make.
Being an over thinker is one of the worst things I am. I hate that I do it because more often that not it leads me to be unhappy, it can turn even a positive thing to something not just negative but almost catastrophic.
I’ve always been a bit of an over thinker but it reached it’s peak in the final months of 2016. I had a pretty tough time following through into 2017 and to be completely honest I only recently started feeling more myself at the beginning of this year but my overthinking tendency is still kicking around. Funnily enough it reaches it’s peak again after a particular event. Most recently my overthinking has went into overdrive following my break up with my boyfriend of 6 years. I already spoke about the break up itself and my thoughts on whether or not we could remain friends but more recent events have again thrown my mind into overdrive to the point where everything I believed is now being tested, making me question – can we really be friends?
Now this is just one example of what overthinking can cause, especially when it’s driven by events in life but let’s be real we can’t exactly avoid life events. My overthinking happens worse when I am already uncertain of something, either if I am personally questioning it or someone has made a comment that sticks with me. My current overthinking topic as I write this does actually have me pushing more towards believing that I was actually wrong and being friends with an ex is too big an ask. This similarly could change after the raw pain of it all eventually goes but we’ll need to wait and see with that one. Time heals all wounds and all that jazz.
Once again I get a little bit off topic so let’s get back to where I started. I am an over thinker and it can lead to multiple problems if I don’t nip a lot of my thoughts in the bud. Here’s another example of my over thinking at it’s worse, a friend cancelling plans for whatever reason can sometimes leave me questioning the importance of me in their life because surely if they cared they wouldn’t do this. Not exactly a practical way of living and more often than not leads me to an unhappy scenario or answer rather than a rational one. But over thinking isn’t rational and it is not just you that does it.
Slowly I am getting control of my tendency to over think by understanding what causes them. Talking things through is surprisingly helpful because hearing your thoughts out loud can often make you think about how insane they sound. This then leads to realising how ridiculous the outcome sounds too. This works when there is no real problem however overthinking can also cause problems when it leads to you fixating on a problem (or creating one that’s not there).
My overthinking stems from my need to control and right now my biggest problem is my overthinking doesn’t help me (to be fair it never does) but that the problem that I am fixating on I can do nothing about. I feel I am in a lose/lose situation and quite honestly I feel pretty useless. I know this will pass but the problem is my over thinking can make me really unmotivated and overall just difficult. Recently I have been unable to sleep at night because of my mind going 100 miles an hour, feeling down thanks to the problem I have fixated on has made me struggle to eat the same and focus at work. Don’t worry this is not as bad as it sounds because I’ve been here before and got through it, it’s just something I wasn’t hoping to deal with again in such a severe way for i don’t know maybe another few years.
I am sure a lot of you out there recognise this in yourselves and unfortunately this post isn’t going to end with some life altering fix to it all because believe me I have no idea how to stop myself doing it but understanding what causes it can make it a bit better and most often it stops my thoughts from going too far in one direction. So anyone out there work out what your trigger is, and yes we need to accept that life cannot be controlled as much as we would like. However we can control how we deal with these thoughts and trust me the weight I have lost the past few weeks isn’t worth it haha. So come on fellow control freaks take control of your thoughts and stop them going too far one way.